Being a military family can be fun, rewarding, and full of adventure. But it can also be isolating. It’s not uncommon for both children and grown-ups to feel lonely from time to time. And the unique circumstances of military life, such as being far away from relatives or friends, frequent changes to routine, or moving to new places, can make those feelings of loneliness more acute. Fortunately, there are things families can do to feel less alone. The resources on this page will help families discover ways to connect with one another and with their larger community.
Before You Watch
In this video, Sesame Street friends Abby, Rudy, and Maggie play a silly and sweet game as they do a family errand. They remind families that anytime can be together time, and that a “thank you,” either said or shown, can go a long way in helping each member of a family feel valued.
Before you watch, explain that appreciation means recognizing and enjoying the good qualities in someone. Talk together about how it feels when someone expresses—through their words or their actions—appreciation for you.
After You Watch
After you watch this video together with children, take turns sharing something each person does (or just how they are!) that helps your family or brings you joy. Discuss the things you already do as a family to say or show your appreciation for one another. What else could you try?
Video: Better Together
When Children Feel Lonely
Sometimes military life can make finding and maintaining friendships seem a little harder. But making the effort to connect with others is worth it. Socialization and relationships give children (and grown-ups!) the opportunity to learn and practice important skills like understanding, empathy, and cooperation. Plus, friendships add joy to life!
Do what you can to connect with others and provide opportunities for your children to talk and play with others, too. Parks, playgrounds, and library story time sessions are all low-cost and low-pressure places for children to spend time playfully learning with and from other children.
But we aren’t always able to have friends or family around, and sometimes we—children and grown-ups—may feel lonely. Children’s feelings come in all shapes and sizes, and often they show how they’re feeling before they tell us. Changes in your child’s behavior, such as sighing, looking sad, being withdrawn, eating more or less than usual, or smiling or laughing less often may signal to you that they’re having some big feelings.
Help children to open up about their feelings by:
Reminding them that all feelings are okay
Sharing some of your own feelings with them
Naming the emotions (“It looks like you might be feeling sad/scared/lonely…”)
And help them work through their big feelings playfully. Consider these ideas:
Draw it out. Children can draw pictures of how they feel or simply release emotions through creating. Once children have moved through their initial big feelings, you might encourage them to draw a picture for someone they are missing. Take a picture to text, email, or even drop it in the mail. Doing something kind for others can give kids a boost of “feel good” energy.
Send kind thoughts. Continue the positivity with a little imaginative thinking. Use thought and imagination to deepen children’s positive social identity. Say, “Let’s close our eyes and take two belly breaths. Think of someone you care about. What kind words would you like to say to that person? Say them quietly in your mind. Take one more breath in and slowly let it out. How did it feel to send kind thoughts?”
Make a Happy Box. When calm, children can create their own happy box, which they can access independently when they need a moment of calm or a boost of happy feelings. Invite children to put items in the box that engage their senses (play dough, a snuggly for hugging, a glitter jar) and their mind (puzzles, matching games, blocks). They might also include pictures of family and friends, special drawings, or keepsakes from trips or travel.
Join us at the Military Children 2024 World Expo in the Month of the Military Child on Saturday, April 27, 2024, at Fashion Centre At Pentagon City in Arlington, VA.
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