Before You Watch
Making an effort to do something special as a family and connect with your community is worth it! In this video, Elmo and his parents decide to go to an event in their community, even though they’re feeling a little worn out. After the event, they feel more energized and joyful. Plus, they’ve made some wonderful memories that their family can cherish forever.
Before you watch, think and talk about times when you have done something a little out of your comfort zone or that required some extra effort. How did that experience feel? What memories did you make?
After You Wach
Research events in your own community (on or off base!), such as food or music festivals, group fitness classes, mommy/daddy and me workshops, block parties, or farmers markets. Keep in mind that there may be low cost or free events organized by your community’s library, local museum, or the parks department.
Then discuss as a family what events would be fun to try. You might make a community bingo card for your family: Choose activities to do or places to visit and write them in squares on the page. Color each square (or use a sticker) as you do the activity. When your card is completely filled in, invite friends—old and new—to celebrate with you.
You can also celebrate your efforts and cherish memories for years to come with a family scrap book. You might save ticket stubs, print pictures, write down (or draw) a few highlights from an event or activity, and of course, document the date! Be sure to look back regularly on all the fun you’ve had and the connections you’ve made. You may be surprised as the years go by at how formative these special outings are for both young children and grown-ups.
Video: Making an Effort
It takes a lot of energy, flexibility, and endurance to keep up with the demands of military life. You do so much to keep your family running smoothly. It’s important to make sure you are getting what you need in order to keep running, too.
Sustainable “self-care.”
Self-care is often presented in a way that makes it seem like we need to spend extra money to care for ourselves, and that can leave us feeling frustrated. Fortunately, meaningful self-care doesn’t need to be flashy! In fact, our positive, healthy, consistent choices every day—such as drinking enough water, eating healthy meals, getting regular movement, going to bed earlier—are the real game-changers. In reality, self-care often looks more like self-discipline and persistence than a beach vacation.
Take action.
Small, sustainable actions can help you feel better, whether you’re hoping to decompress after work (or after a toddler-meltdown), shake off the midday sleepies, or just put a little pep in your step. Consider the ideas below, and then take action! Can you do one of these things right now? You might keep a list like this on hand to refer to when you have even a few minutes to do something good for you…and ultimately, good for your family!
Drink a glass of water.
Walk around the block.
Listen to your favorite song. Dance while you’re at it!
Take three slow, deep breaths.
Call or text a friend – ask how they are doing!
Stand up.
Write a short poem.
Send a thank you text or email.
Draw a picture.
Look intently at something beautiful, like a flower, your child, the sky.
Go outside.
Be quiet for five minutes.
Say one positive thing about yourself and/or your life.
Self-care…
Children’s behavior can be revealing; it often acts as a mirror, showing us how we’re coping and carrying on. It’s not uncommon for young children to adopt similar tones, gestures, or even certain phrases, that their parents use. And that’s because children learn how to engage with other people, their world, and their own emotions by observing how we—their grown-ups—behave.
This brings a wonderful opportunity: As you learn how to better manage your own big feelings, you help them learn to better manage theirs. Even your mistakes are meaningful. From you, your children can learn to try, and try again. When you make consistent, positive choices, your children will notice. They may begin to ask questions or desire to do things (exercise, prepare meals, have quiet time!) with you. The care you extend to yourself reaches out to those you love, too.
Community Bonds
It takes effort to get to know others and feel like we really belong in a community, but the effort pays off! Connecting with our larger community gives us energy, helps us feel supported (and find support), plus it gives family members a chance to relate to each other in new ways.
Here for now.
The reality of moving every few years can make the prospect of “plugging in” less appealing. You might ask yourself, “If I won’t get to reap the rewards of our efforts (at least not for very long), is my effort really worth it?”
We say, “Yes. Definitely.”
But why?
Time is precious and powerful.
Early relationships matter.
You can pay it forward.
Planting seeds.
When you’re ready to put down some roots in your community, start by following your interests. If you enjoy exercise, you might join a community center or group fitness class. If you enjoy the arts, see if your community has a theater program or other arts programming like festivals or classes. Or chat with families after a church service.
Try to focus on the things, places, and activities that bring you and your family joy or are already a part of your routine. Chances are good that you’ll be able to strike up conversations and build meaningful connections with others right where you are.
And let your children lead, too! On a trip to the park, playground, or library, be bold and chat with other parents or caregivers. Can you set up a regular playdate?
Excited to start brainstorming some ideas for connecting with your community? Check out the Our Adventure List printable to jot down your ideas.
Finding More Support
Military life comes with many ups and downs. As your family moves from place to place or experiences military-related challenges, you may need some extra support. Even though it may feel uncomfortable, asking for help—with parenting, healthcare, childcare, mental health support, or anything else—is always a good option. If you live off base or far from your Reserve or Guard unit, it can feel harder to find military-specific support but take heart: there are many resources available to you and your family, regardless of your status or location.
Military OneSource is a good place to start. Check out the links below to explore resources:
Are you a veteran or caregiving family? Here are some additional resources you might find helpful:
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