Before You Watch
Sometimes the ups and downs of military life can leave both children and parents feeling alone or misunderstood. But support can come from community providers, such as educators. In this video, Elmo’s teacher offers encouragement to both Elmo and his mom, Mae. Her kind words during class drop-off and pick-up give Mae a much-needed positive affirmation in a challenging season of solo-parenting.
After You Watch
Invite each member of your family to come up with a few positive or encouraging phrases that they can repeat to themselves, such as, “You’ve got this.” “Try one more time.” “You can learn new things.” “It’s okay to feel like a beginner.” “I can keep trying.” Practice them together in good times, so that in more challenging times, they feel natural—and true! — to say.
Video: Solo Parenting
When Grown - Ups Feel Lonely
Being a military family means being part of something bigger than yourself. This can add to your family’s overall sense of purpose that feeling doesn’t always trickle down to your family’s day-to-day experience. Changing schedules, frequent moves, lingering uncertainty—not to mention heavy use of acronyms—can leave you and your family missing loved ones and feeling set apart or even isolated from others.
Having a circle of care, both near and far, can help you feel less alone. Read on for ideas to help you maintain healthy relationships with family and friends, both old and new.
Who I Am. Positive relationships start with a positive sense of self. Having confidence in who you are and what makes you special and strong can help you meaningfully engage with others. Plus, self-assurance is contagious: you may notice that others may feel freer to be confidently themselves in your presence!
Pencil them in. Life is busy! Our good intentions to catch up with friends or family can very easily get put on the back burner. Move beyond intention to action: put dates and times on your calendar for phone calls, video chats, coffee, or play dates.
Share your military story. Sometimes you may feel like others, especially civilian acquaintances, friends, or family, just don’t understand what your life is like. And they probably don’t! Instead of focusing on feelings of frustration or discouragement, try telling them about your life. Share some challenges and joys you face as a military family and allow yourself to be surprised by the things you inevitably do have in common.
The Loneliness of Parenting…Alone and Together
Parenting is joyful, but hard and humbling work. As your children grow and learn, you grow and learn right alongside them; you have to learn how to be a parent! Military life can add extra growing pains, too. As you learn to be a parent, you also learn to be a partner in very unique and sometimes challenging circumstances. All that learning can leave you feeling lonely.
Sharing core beliefs as a family can help you feel more connected to one another and give you strength when you’re feeling alone. Consider the suggestions below, and then brainstorm together about other core beliefs your family holds.
We’re on the same team.
We go with the flow and learn as we go.
We do our best and forgive the rest.
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